We are having a...

...GIRL! Or so it seems. After Jackson's surprise arrival as a boy, I have a feeling we will be slightly skeptical until baby girl shows herself to the world:). The doctor got two good looks, though, and said she is pretty sure (as sure as a doctor can be with girls) and rarely changes her mind. She also said she has only been wrong once in 10 years - not bad! She said our baby was perfect, and very cooperative. I can't believe it. Jackson is going to have a little sister and our family will be more complete than we ever could have imagined or hoped for.

We started our 2010 with hearts full of grief, clinging desperately to the hope in our adoption plan to keep us going. When I turned 30 in March, I wrote this post. I was trying, somewhat successfully, to believe that year 30 would be my year of blessings. When I turn 31, if all goes as planned, it will be a very different post, and I will be a very different person. I already am. I went on to write this post in April. I spoke of the mythical nature of a healthy pregnancy in my world...I believe unicorns were referenced as a comparison:). I still fight that view, I still fight the worry and anxiety every day. I still struggle every day to believe this baby, this daughter of ours, will arrive safely come February. But Jackson has changed me. He helps me to believe. I have him, and that is absolute proof that miracles happen, that I can be happy, and that my life is perfect - if not a product of my own planning. His presence has allowed me to embrace this pregnancy and to have faith. I am so thankful for him, for so many thousands of reasons.

As I sit here, Jackson is sleeping on my chest, all warm and cuddly. And on top of that joy, I am currently feeling baby girl moving around in there, announcing her presence as she does multiple times a day. Can you believe how things can change in less than a year? I am in awe.