In Case You Are Wondering...

We are still here! We are still surviving...kind of. The days seem to be a blur of crying, diapers, feedings, nap times, more crying, and repeat. As I speak, Jackson is rolling around the floor - he has become quite the mobile little guy - and Addison is currently fighting sleep in her papasan, as usual.

I am still nursing. I had to see a lactation consultant and she concluded I was not making enough milk. So, I was started on Domperidone, a medication to increase milk supply. Since then, we have not had to supplement. And Addison now takes 20-30 minutes to nurse instead of over an hour. And, she usually goes 3-4 hours between feedings, a little longer the first part of the night. Of course, that doesn't mean she takes peaceful naps between feedings. Oh no, she is up fussing on and off the entire time. We have to swaddle her, rock her, walk her, bounce her, etc to get her to go to sleep, then keep holding her for at least 15-20 minutes, then put her down *finally*, then pray. And usually it doesn't work and she is up crying within 5 minutes. And I can't hold her all day, so she gets to cry a lot. I kept worrying that she was hungry, so I'd give her a bottle with breastmilk or formula, and she played with it and eventually spit it out, so I concluded she was not hungry. I consider daily switching to formula feeding, wondering if she would do better on it? I go back and forth. We worked so hard to get nursing to work, and I feel proud that I stuck with it, but is it really working? Would formula be better, would she calm down? Any thoughts?

And at night, well, it's on and off. She gets up after about 4 hours of sleeping to nurse, and sometimes falls asleep and can be put back in bassinet for another couple hours of sleep before her early morning feeding. But if she wakes up too much, it's all over. For instance, last night she got up for her feeding at 2:30am and did not finally go back to sleep until about 5:45am. She would fall asleep before that, but the minute we put her down, she was back to crying. Needless to say, we are often sleep deprived and non-too-thrilled with our newest "bundle of joy."

I have had help on and off, and thank God for that. A good friend of mine came and stayed and took Addison in her bedroom for 2 nights, except when I had to nurse. It was heaven. And Jason's family was visiting and they held the babies a lot, giving me a break. And Jason's mom is coming next week, and I am literally counting the hours. I am so thankful to everyone for coming to help - well, i think they are more coming to just see the babies, but I put them to work anyway:).

Before I forget, any ideas on baby wearing would be much appreciated. I need something that I can have both hands free and know she is safely tight against me. The Moby eludes me. Every time I put her in it, it seems too loose and I can't get it tight enough to feel comfortable for me. I have the Seven sling, but that's awkward. I also have a Bjorn, but it's not secure enough for her yet with her head flopping, so I can wear her in it, but can't get anything done. It's good for outings, but not for getting stuff done around the house. If you do have suggestions, let me warn you of one thing - my brain cannot figure out wraps or slings well if they are at all complicated. The Moby is a perfect example. I just can't work those things. So, simplicity is key here:). I'd love your thoughts!

Oh, and we are currently looking for a new house (we need WAY more space) and will probably move in the next couple of months. Uggghh. Ok, currently both babies are melting down and I want to scream. Gotta go....