Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Sharing my Story

So, a few things have happened recently that have led me to think that the time has come for me to think more, talk more and hopefully write more about my story;  specifically about how I became the mother of two children who are a mere six months apart in age.  I think the part of my (our) story that many people find so fascinating is the open adoption part.  I often say that I don't get that, how people are so surprised and, dare I say, impressed by our story.  I know so many other parents walking that same road.  And yet, somehow, it just isn't talked about in the broader culture.  From my perspective, being entrenched in the adoption world, it is just life as normal.  Yet, there are these reminders that have become frequent lately that suggest that the life we are living with our children, with our son's birth family, is not "life as normal" for everyone.  I've decided I want to share our story, and I want to try my hand at writing about it and see what comes of it.

Two things happened recently that have led me here.  First, a friend of mine has written an amazing book that I will be posting a link to here, on my blog, when it is released on Amazon on Memorial Day.  It is about her long and arduous road through infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss.  In her book, she talks about her fears and anxieties about adoption.  When she describes how difficult the concept was to her, how impossible it felt to her that she would be able to love a child who was adopted as much as a  biological child,  I realized that I have something to share with her, and with other parents or parents-to-be out there.  The second thing that happened that my sister found herself talking with a woman she had just met about our story.  The woman shared with my sister that she had placed a baby for adoption many many years ago and that she had also adopted two children.  She said her birth son found her when he was an adult but only met with her once because his adoptive parents had such a hard time supporting him in this relationship with his birth mother.  I thought, how sad.  When my sister finished telling her about our relationships and our view on adoption, the woman had tears streaming down her face.  She asked my sister to thank us (thank US?!  Still blows my mind). And then I thought, perhaps my story is not just useful to other potential (or current) adoptive parents?  Is it possible that our story, our hearts, could also provide support, hope and encouragement to birth parents or parents considering placing their children for adoption?

What I know is this: if there is even a small chance that I could add something to our culture's story about adoption (which, let's be honest is an inaccurate and fear-based story overall), then I should write.  I don't know where my writing will go, but I am committing publicly, here.    So stay tuned...(for the few of you still around:))