Visiting Preschools

I hope to put Jackson into preschool next fall for a couple of mornings a week (and Addison the year after).  So, I decided it was time to visit the few preschools I am considering to get an idea of where I want him to be.  I am a planner of course:).  I visited the one at the top of my list first this week.  I was told that the preschool rented space from St. Andrews church, so I put it into my GPS and we headed over there.  Then I pulled up...and realized that St. Andrews church is where we had our adoption classes almost three years ago.

It's hard to describe how different my life is now.  I almost couldn't even remember what I felt like sitting in those classes.  That intense level of anxiety and sadness is now foreign to me.  I am a completely different person.  I pulled up, hauling two toddlers, in jeans, messy hair, and two strollers in the back of my SUV.  Yep, that's me now!  I could not be happier.

I can't believe that I didn't know Jackson as I sat in those classes.  I knew implicitly that those classes were my path to motherhood.  I just knew it.  I had more hope sitting in those classes than I had had in years.  But I didn't know my baby boy!  How is that possible?  I can't imagine a life without him in it...what was my heart doing before Jackson and Addison took it over?  I really don't know.   Like I said, I'm a different person now.

I could not have imagined a more perfect little boy.  I tried to imagine, sitting in those folding chairs, listening to the social worker talk and shivering because the room was freezing, what our story would look like.  I imagined so many scenarios, different kinds of birth parents at different stages of their pregnancies, frantic calls to the hospital, building a connection with a birth mom over months, etc.   I even imagined that I would surprisingly get pregnant and maybe leave the adoption process.  I was just hoping for a baby.  I never considered the story that came to be - two babies in six months.  Two perfect, healthy babies.  My babies.

I love when life throws things into the mix to cue your memory, to remind you of where you came from.  I have learned so much, and I know I am a better person because I walked the path I did.  I have to share with you the joy and wonder that Jackson brings to my life, in picture form: