Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Visiting Preschools

I hope to put Jackson into preschool next fall for a couple of mornings a week (and Addison the year after).  So, I decided it was time to visit the few preschools I am considering to get an idea of where I want him to be.  I am a planner of course:).  I visited the one at the top of my list first this week.  I was told that the preschool rented space from St. Andrews church, so I put it into my GPS and we headed over there.  Then I pulled up...and realized that St. Andrews church is where we had our adoption classes almost three years ago.

It's hard to describe how different my life is now.  I almost couldn't even remember what I felt like sitting in those classes.  That intense level of anxiety and sadness is now foreign to me.  I am a completely different person.  I pulled up, hauling two toddlers, in jeans, messy hair, and two strollers in the back of my SUV.  Yep, that's me now!  I could not be happier.

I can't believe that I didn't know Jackson as I sat in those classes.  I knew implicitly that those classes were my path to motherhood.  I just knew it.  I had more hope sitting in those classes than I had had in years.  But I didn't know my baby boy!  How is that possible?  I can't imagine a life without him in it...what was my heart doing before Jackson and Addison took it over?  I really don't know.   Like I said, I'm a different person now.

I could not have imagined a more perfect little boy.  I tried to imagine, sitting in those folding chairs, listening to the social worker talk and shivering because the room was freezing, what our story would look like.  I imagined so many scenarios, different kinds of birth parents at different stages of their pregnancies, frantic calls to the hospital, building a connection with a birth mom over months, etc.   I even imagined that I would surprisingly get pregnant and maybe leave the adoption process.  I was just hoping for a baby.  I never considered the story that came to be - two babies in six months.  Two perfect, healthy babies.  My babies.

I love when life throws things into the mix to cue your memory, to remind you of where you came from.  I have learned so much, and I know I am a better person because I walked the path I did.  I have to share with you the joy and wonder that Jackson brings to my life, in picture form:


  1. I love your story and it is amazing to see where we've come from. Out homes are filled with perfect babies to keep us happy and busy!!!

  2. Wow, how crazy it came full circle like that.

    You are such a great mom and I bet it will be nice to have Jax get into preschool and have some one on one time with Addy.

    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!