Saturday, August 21, 2010

My Labor

I have done A LOT of waiting in my time of being infertile, pregnant, on the adoption waiting list, etc. But nothing compares to these few days, in which this little guy is our baby in our hearts, but we have no claim to him. This time in which family and friends are celebrating, not quite understanding that unless those papers are signed tomorrow, he is not ours. We have gotten word that the birthmother is struggling with her decision, but always settles on adoption being the best plan. But, the only thing that matters is that she is able to settle on that tomorrow, with the papers in front of her. We trust her to make the right decision for her baby, no matter what that is. But, I cannot sleep or smile or breathe or live until those papers are signed and we can *officially* call him our son. I know that T, the birthmom, is suffering. I know she is in pain, she is grieving, her empty arms are aching. My heart aches knowing I can't be there with her, talk to her, reassure her she will see him in just a few weeks (we have already done the paperwork to schedule the first visit with her with the baby). But, I know nothing I can say can relieve her pain, nothing I can do can make her situation so different that she could parent her son. So, I will take my suffering, because it is my labor. She has hers. This little boy is SO incredibly loved. When the papers are signed, I assure you I will post, and I will finally get to post the adorable pictures of our son:). Until then....let's hope I survive...

10 comments:

  1. I can't wait to see him Faith, praying and holding my breath with you guys!

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  2. You WILL get through this! I am always so inspired, Faith, by how much compassion you have for the birth parents and their feelings along with your own. I admire you for that. And your son will admire that you have that kindness in your heart for his birth parents also.

    Oh.. what a great mom you already are! =)

    Hang tight girlie.. it will be over soon!! Cant wait to see pics and to hear the name that you've chosen for little man!!!

    God bless XOXO

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  3. Faith, I just want you to know I am praying for you always! I am so happy for you and can't wait to hear the news and finally see YOUR son! :)

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  4. Thinking of you and praying for your little man!

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  5. I am thinking of you and praying that God blesses the first day of your new family - starting tomorrow! Your words echo what is in my heart... although we are a few days behind, I know this wait for us, too, is coming. Hang tight and hold on to this crazy ride!

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  6. Thinking of you and praying. . .
    {hugs}

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  7. I'm praying for you too. I hope you got some good news today!

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  8. Dying here Faith! You need to update us!

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