Saturday, October 20, 2012

I am here!

I know I am an awful blogger.  As I've mentioned before, I don't often know what exactly to post.  Do I tell you about how neither of Jackson's birthparents have agreed to see him since January and how that breaks my heart?  Or about our recent visit to the petting zoo/pumpkin patch and how fun that was?  Or how Jackson has really been pushing our buttons and I am scared at how angry he can make me in such a short amount of time?  Or how overwhelmed I have been with trying to balance work and home?  Or how my job has really taken a bad turn recently?  Or how my husband's partner and friend was just killed in the line of duty and it has forever changed how I will see myself as a federal agent's wife?  Or how about how Addison just talks and talks now and is such a big girl...a big girl who still asks to nurse many times a day:)?  Or how Jackson gets SO excited about the moon every time he sees it?

Every time I sit down, I just can't organize myself to think about what to write - what is important and what is not, what people will want to take the time to read, what message do I want to send as I write?  When I was struggling with infertility and loss, my purpose was so clear on this blog.  Now I just don't know.  So I'll just leave you with a few pics and if you have a strong opinion on what I should be writing about, please comment!

Our first time to the carnival - they loved it:)!

First time painting (not counting Color Wonder paint).

A guy in the park let Jackson fly his kite - too cute:).

The pumpkin patch.

Addy at the park - she loves the slide.


  1. I'm so sorry that you're going through those things right now. My sister hasn't seen her kids in 4 months by her choice...makes me sad. Thankfully they don't really know her enough to care right now but I know they will one day. I just hug them a little extra tighter. Please do keep blogging though. I love to check in on how things are going with your sweet family.

  2. Wow, you have a lot going on. It sounds so overwhelming. I get it a little bit, when so much is going on, what do you write?

    And I don't know about you, but sometimes I think of blogging as just one more thing I HAVE to do.

    But in the end, I am glad I do it, so I can document, not just with pictures, Avery's life and ours. The good bad and ugly.

    Well, even if it is just quick updates, I love hearing about you guys.

    Just post when you can, even if it is a quick post with a few cute pics.

    Also, I bet people tell you all the time Addison looks EXACTLY like you! Too cute!

  3. I feel the same way about my blog. Not sure what to write but not quite ready to say goodbye. I am so sorry about Jackson's birth parents. He has plenty of love already and is so lucky to have you as a mom, but I'n sure that's hard for you! I hope they come around. And I hope the job gets better.

  4. Glad you posted! You need a vacation it sounds like :) So sorry to hear about your husband's tragic :( I have a hard time to with my blog. But really it's just nice to see people stop by and post with a quick update and pictures! I love that! Especially, because we all know how busy motherhood/life can be! :)

  5. I would love to hear about each and every one of those things you listed. I feel like we have become somewhat of a family in this blogging/Infertility world and I love reading all updates and genuinly care about what is going on in your life. I'm sorry so much has happened lately. I hope life gives you a break soon.