More Ramblings

I feel the need to write, though I'm not sure what exactly to write about. We'll see where this goes! Everyone keeps asking me if we have more news. No, we don't. On the one hand, I'm so happy that everyone around us is so excited. On the other, this just reeks of how our pregnancies went. We allow ourselves to be hopeful, share our "expectant" news, get everyone all riled up, and then have to call everyone up and say the words we have said way too many times...."We lost the baby." Then, tragically, not only do we get to deal with our own grief, but we also get to feel guilty that we caused so much grief in our families.

Honestly, I needed to write that but I don't want to go there. Unlike our pregnancies, this baby is not ours...yet. She is her parents', and she is their daughter until she is placed in our arms. That these amazing people chose us, even as their Plan B, is a gift. While it is hard to know we may not be able to parent this little girl, it is heart-warming to know that a couple believes we could do it, if they needed us. Adoption can be so beautiful. It is also so sad. But it is nothing short of amazing. Until you've been touched by it, you can't even fathom the beauty in it. That one set of loving, adoring, and selfless parents chooses another set of loving, hopeful and (in our case) desperate parents for their child is a true miracle.

If nothing else, this match has only made me more adoring of the adoption process. Even if we don't bring this little girl home, we are committed to this process more than we ever have been. I may not know the miracle of birth (yet), but I am becoming intimately acquainted with the miracle of adoption. And I wouldn't have it any other way.