Tuesday, June 29, 2010

More Ramblings

I feel the need to write, though I'm not sure what exactly to write about. We'll see where this goes! Everyone keeps asking me if we have more news. No, we don't. On the one hand, I'm so happy that everyone around us is so excited. On the other, this just reeks of how our pregnancies went. We allow ourselves to be hopeful, share our "expectant" news, get everyone all riled up, and then have to call everyone up and say the words we have said way too many times...."We lost the baby." Then, tragically, not only do we get to deal with our own grief, but we also get to feel guilty that we caused so much grief in our families.

Honestly, I needed to write that but I don't want to go there. Unlike our pregnancies, this baby is not ours...yet. She is her parents', and she is their daughter until she is placed in our arms. That these amazing people chose us, even as their Plan B, is a gift. While it is hard to know we may not be able to parent this little girl, it is heart-warming to know that a couple believes we could do it, if they needed us. Adoption can be so beautiful. It is also so sad. But it is nothing short of amazing. Until you've been touched by it, you can't even fathom the beauty in it. That one set of loving, adoring, and selfless parents chooses another set of loving, hopeful and (in our case) desperate parents for their child is a true miracle.

If nothing else, this match has only made me more adoring of the adoption process. Even if we don't bring this little girl home, we are committed to this process more than we ever have been. I may not know the miracle of birth (yet), but I am becoming intimately acquainted with the miracle of adoption. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


  1. I just came across you blog yesterday. So, I don't know your whole story.. but I can only imagine the ups and downs of waiting to be chosen and the waiting to see if it works out. Adoption is a beautiful thing but also it's so sad. So sad, that parents for whatever reason can't raise their children. Thanks for blogging about your adoption journey. I enjoy reading and learning from adoptive parents.

  2. Praying for you Faith. I know your heart is hopeful yet cautious. I've had that thus far, getting yourself and family hopeful only to disappoint them by it all falling through, I think I almost feel more guilty for it making them sad.....but then I am a strange one.:)

    you are always in my prayers.

  3. :'). I shed tears when I read this post. Not happy or sad tears but the kind of tears you shed when you see a particularly beautiful sunset. Thank you for rambling because it was an awesome post!

    Praying for all involved in this new opportunity! I just can't imagine what a difficult position the expectant mother is in right now. My heart goes out to her.


  4. Faith, I've been MIA for a little while, but coming out of the woodwork to congratulate you on the match!! How exciting!!! I've been thinking about you because I recently bought the book "The Long-Awaited Stork" because of your blog post about it.

    Anyway, congrats again and hang in there. Having now been through the process, ours was an amazing experience enriched by meeting her birth mom. Your adoption story will be amazing too.