On Thursday afternoon, I got the most anticipated, yet unexpected, call of my life! My social worker said to me, "I have a situation I'd like to discuss with you." I was all ears!
Before you get too excited, there is good news and there is bad news...
The good news is a healthy, bright, compassionate and insightful young couple picked is to be their baby's parents...
The bad news is we are only going to get to parent this baby IF the mom's legal situation does not change and she cannot get out of prison as soon as she would like.
Like I said, it's hard to get too excited. Without going too much into this family's story (it will be our baby's story to tell one day, if this is meant to be), the mom is in prison on a 1.5 year sentence. She is going to court in about a month (no date set yet, uggghh) to try and get her sentence reduced to time served. If she doesn't get the sentence reduction, they are placing the baby....with us! If she does, they will parent their baby. According to our social worker, they have become less and less optimistic over the last couple of months that she will get out soon, hence their plan for adoption.
We are in a difficult situation. The baby (it's a girl by the way:)!) is due August 23rd. We will not know until the end of July or early August what the judge will decide for this mom. And we have a hard time wishing for this woman to be in prison longer than she'd like (her crime was one of being too naive and did NOT have to do with drugs, alcohol or violent crimes). So, while of course we want this baby girl more than life itself....we want her momma to be safe and happy as well. The bottom line is we hate the idea of benefitting from another person's misfortune. And therein lies the irony of adoption.
So, we are doing what we have gotten really good at doing....waiting! I don't think many people actually understand the agony of waiting like we do. It's excruciating. I am already dreaming of a baby girl in my arms, and I know there is at least a 50/50 chance she'll go home with her parents. It is so reminiscent of pregnancy. I try so damn hard not to get excited, not to attach, not to actually love the little life growing inside of me. But, the truth is, I am maternal to the bone. I adore babies, and love being a mom, if only for a brief time during pregnancy. It's the only thing I've ever desired more than life itself. So, how do we not begin to dream of this little girl? We already love her parents, and we already love her.