Saturday, June 26, 2010

We Got A Call!!!

On Thursday afternoon, I got the most anticipated, yet unexpected, call of my life! My social worker said to me, "I have a situation I'd like to discuss with you." I was all ears!

Before you get too excited, there is good news and there is bad news...

The good news is a healthy, bright, compassionate and insightful young couple picked is to be their baby's parents...

The bad news is we are only going to get to parent this baby IF the mom's legal situation does not change and she cannot get out of prison as soon as she would like.

Like I said, it's hard to get too excited. Without going too much into this family's story (it will be our baby's story to tell one day, if this is meant to be), the mom is in prison on a 1.5 year sentence. She is going to court in about a month (no date set yet, uggghh) to try and get her sentence reduced to time served. If she doesn't get the sentence reduction, they are placing the baby....with us! If she does, they will parent their baby. According to our social worker, they have become less and less optimistic over the last couple of months that she will get out soon, hence their plan for adoption.

We are in a difficult situation. The baby (it's a girl by the way:)!) is due August 23rd. We will not know until the end of July or early August what the judge will decide for this mom. And we have a hard time wishing for this woman to be in prison longer than she'd like (her crime was one of being too naive and did NOT have to do with drugs, alcohol or violent crimes). So, while of course we want this baby girl more than life itself....we want her momma to be safe and happy as well. The bottom line is we hate the idea of benefitting from another person's misfortune. And therein lies the irony of adoption.

So, we are doing what we have gotten really good at doing....waiting! I don't think many people actually understand the agony of waiting like we do. It's excruciating. I am already dreaming of a baby girl in my arms, and I know there is at least a 50/50 chance she'll go home with her parents. It is so reminiscent of pregnancy. I try so damn hard not to get excited, not to attach, not to actually love the little life growing inside of me. But, the truth is, I am maternal to the bone. I adore babies, and love being a mom, if only for a brief time during pregnancy. It's the only thing I've ever desired more than life itself. So, how do we not begin to dream of this little girl? We already love her parents, and we already love her.


  1. you cannot help but start dreaming. As you know I've now lost 4 of these and I start thinking of how I'll tell family, going on vacation, Christmas, announcements etc. You simply do it. Either way, you'll dream and it's normal. You'll love her before ever seeing her or knowing if she's yours. It's part of adoption. I pray for you that this works out best for all involved. It's just so exciting! Praying for you daily.

  2. Wow, how exciting and incredibly nerve-racking at the same time! My hubby and I are very close to being "officially waiting" and reading your post just sent me in a tizzy! Isn't it incredible how we'll be able to look back on all of these things one day and realize they were the path that led us to our perfect babies? I am praying that this situation is meant to be for you! Hang in there during the wait!

  3. Praying for you and the baby!!!! Keep us updated!!!!

  4. Well I'm with you. On one hand, you don't want her to have to be in there longer than she wants to. But on the other, you want to be that baby's momma! We will keep our fingers crossed, and lots of positive thoughts coming your way!
    Thinking of you guys!

  5. What a tough situation for everybody. I would be pulled in both directions just as you are. All you can do it say a little prayer that what is meant to be will be and all will work out for the best for that sweet little baby. The adoption wait stinks no matter what but to be so close but yet so unsure must be torture. Praying you find peace in your wait for an answer.

  6. Faith, I hope this works out for you! I pray for you every day.

  7. Faith,
    I found a computer at the hotel just so I could read the latest. We've already talked but just wanted to see it in writting. Love you guys and we will always be there for you.(10:30 pm Virginia)Hey Jason, The Clydesdales said hi!

  8. Wow! What a dilema. I sooo know what you mean about not wanting to benefit from a bad situation for the birth mother. It would be hard to pray for that. I'll just pray that God does what HE does the situation out the best way for the sweet baby girl. Will be praying for you too during this nerve wracking time. It is so exciting though!! August isn't really that far away and July isn't will just seem like an eternity. ((HUGS))

  9. Oh faith, what a situation! Hoping for the very best for everyone involved and also hoping that the best is what you want, if that makes sense!


  10. YAY Faith!!! I can't imagine how you can't attach. SHe is yours if only for a short time. As for now she is yours and maybe forever, only time will tell. :0)

  11. Adoption is tough... and it always stems from someones misfortune, no matter what level... and adoption agencies are reporting that 50-50 is the national standard of birthmoms changing their minds in general... Yet as adoptive parents, I think we sign on sometimes for more than we realize. It is impossible not to grow attached... if you didn't, you wouldn't be the right person to parent the baby. Knowing the situation is 50 50 going into it is the best attitude and its nice to have that heads up. All you can do is love these babies with your whole heart because that is what a baby deserves... August is so soon and we will be thinking and praying for you!