Sunday, September 12, 2010

Motherhood... exhausting!!! Now, before you all yell and scream at me, "You wanted this!!" let me tell you that I know! And I still do, more than anything! God help the person who tries to pry Jackson from my arms! It doesn't change the fact that I am tired. Not the yawning, gosh it'll be nice to get a little sleep, caffeine helps kind of tired. It's the kind of body aching, eyes burning, head throbbing kind of exhaustion. I knew this would happen to me. I have always liked and truly needed my sleep. So, I expected that constant mid-night feedings would take it's toll. What I didn't expect, because I had no idea, was how the all-day care of him would suck all my energy, too. It seems I no sooner get done changing and feeding him and he wants (needs) to be held, rocked, patted, etc, and then needs to be changed and fed again. I'm lucky if I get a meal in here or there:). He has decided that he can't fall asleep, nor stay asleep long if he is not being held. So, yes, I am tired (and my house is a mess, and my thank you notes aren't done, and my errands aren't done, get the picture). I know we should "break" him of this habit of being held all the time (or at least I've had a hundred people tell me that), but when your newborn is crying and needing you and can't regulate his own body, how do you let him lie there without going to help him? I'll begin working on that when he's older, when he has the skills he needs to get through it. For now, I'm going to allow him to have a safe, protected and, yes, coddled "fourth trimester." He deserves it. I'll get my sleep when he's 20...maybe:). I'm told by other mommies that my body will adjust and I'll get used to it...I'm still waiting for that particular miracle! Until then, let me leave you with some pictures of my favorite little miracle, who happens to be strapped to me with the Moby Wrap as we speak...

After his first bath, which he actually didn't hate:)

Such a cute outfit...and do you see how long he is getting?!

He's so sweet when he is sleeping...while being held by daddy of course:).


  1. girl don't let anyone tell you you need to break him of any habit! Your right this is completely the 4th trimester and he needs you HIS MAMA :) You are doing a fabulous job FABULOUS!!!! I don't even know you but I know it! One thing that always helped me out in the hard times was " This to shall pass" and its so true!

    The errands can wait, the dishes can wait it can all wait because tomorrow he will be another day older and you can never get these moments back!

    They are the best!

    Hang in there thanks for your honesty and again you are doing a FABULOUS JOB!

  2. As a mother of eight, I am telling you to run, don't walk, to Get one today! I didn't discover it till the sixth child, and I don't know how I lived without it. The last three kids have slept beautifully and I have not been sleep deprived.

    Also, many women swear by The Happiest Baby on the Block book. Swaddling is a big part of it....

    Don't let your sweetie cry it out at such a young age. Not when you can just swaddle the dear little guy and make him so happy. :)

    God bless!

  3. He won't want to be held forever, so do it while you can! If you haven't already, invest in a sling or wrap so that you can hold him and at least get a few necessary chores finished. Other than that, sleep when he is sleeping, and clean your house good in a couple of months when you are feeling human again! It is difficult to believe now, but you will kind of miss those night feedings when they are over. By the way, he is a beautiful baby!

  4. Oh Faith! He looks wonderful.
    I agree... it is EXHAUSTING... I also do not do well without sleep... For a couple of weeks, there isn't much you can do... but I started following the "Babywise" book... and the section on sleep/wake habits really helped me... It sort of provided a "schedule" of sorts to follow... basically a 3 hour cycle of feeding/waking/sleeping... before that it was more like I was feeding Amelia every 2 hours.. really really tough! So, just aiming for feeding every 3 hours was a tangible goal I could try... plus, it kind of broke up the day for me... before it seemed endless?! newborns are cute, but not the best company all the time!! Following that 3 hour thing I SWEAR made Amelia start sleeping through the night ... nto sure how it worked, but I guess gettting those scheduled feedings during the day encouraged her not to need as much at night.. plus the book discusses day/night confusion... avoiding stimulation after a certain time etc... its the only book I really used as you know new mommies are too tired to read too many books! by 7 weeks Amelia (who was a very needy newborn...aren't they all but you know :) was sleeping from 9 to 9... and then we got it from 7 to 7.. which was just better for my personal needs.... I'd rather have more time at night and she seemed sleepy anyway...
    Anyway, eventually you whittle out longer naps at it does all work out... but for now, I recommend that.
    As for the beginning comment of your blog... I hope no one uses that comment "YOu wanted this..." For those of us that struggled with infertility, that is one of those "no no" comments... kind of makes us feel guilty for now being a "normal" tired mommy of a newborn! No matter how much "more?" we might have wanted a baby, or for how long, we can't be expected to bear that burden as a new mommy .... I once read an article about this type of comment.. it tends to suggest that since we struggled, we should now feel guilty about being tired/grumpy etc... that is just not true! I hope no one is saying that, but if they are, ignore them! And try to find someone to hold that beautiful baby so you can get a nap here and there!

  5. Ty wanted to be held ALL the time (thank God for wraps) until he magically turned 4 months and the world changed. He was literally a different baby. Napped, slept, let me put him in the swing, etc, etc. It DOES get better. You WILL sleep again.

    Funny enough I was just thinking this weekend how much work it would be to add another infant. Now that Ty's 15 months he's super independent, sleeps a solid 11 hours at night, and gets easier as the time goes by.

    I don't envy your exhaustion :).

    Soak it all in. It goes by fast and pretty soon your little sweetheart will be saying "No-no-no, Muma!"

  6. I appreciate your honesty about the exhaustion Faith! I have figured out that I have 13-ish more weeks of sweet slumber until I too, am typing posts like these! Lol

    Hang in there girl.. your doing great! =)

    God bless XOXO

  7. I have LOVED reading your blog and watching your adoption journey unfold. Being the parent of an adopted child, I SOOOO remember the utter exhaustion! Something no one every explains to parents who are getting ready to adopt is how unprepared we are to deal w/the lack of sleep. My BFF birthed a baby 3 months after we adopted our daughter. The last 5 weeks she was very uncomfortable and had to get up several time a night to use the bathroom. Her body was preparing her for the constant need of a newborn! Yes, she was tired too....but it was different. Rest now whenever you can and enjoy hold that sweet little boy! These days will quickly pass and you will long for the days you were holding him! Don't worry about what is not finished or clean....It will all be there when you both are ready.