So for those of you who haven't experienced infertility, or gone through adoption, let me tell you our most commonly used word...."wait." In infertility, we do tests and wait for results, we wait through each month, just praying for a positive test, and we wait month after month, year after year, wanting nothing more than to tell our friends and family that we are expecting. IF we are lucky enough to get pregnant, we wait for every blood test and ultrasound with anxiety that grabs ahold of our entire being and doesn't let go, just praying again that we will get good news. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. But the waiting is excruciating.
Then comes the waiting in adoption. I am at the VERY beginning of the process, and I am already sick of waiting...again. Since my last post, I have worked on my autobiography and getting documents together, and have waited, hoping the social worker would email us and give us a date for her home visit and a date for the classes. That email didn't come this week, so I get to hunker down and start waiting again, through the weekend, and in to the next week. Oh, and if that isn't enough, we just did some blood tests that may (or may not) give us answers...and that will take 6 weeks to come back. More waiting. Uggghhhh. If patience is the lesson, I am certainly learning it. But I'm not perfect.
I do believe that the best things in the world are worth waiting for. And I know our child will be the BEST thing that ever happens to us. I just want a break. I just want to be done with waiting. I just want to finally be "there." For me, "there" is having our baby in our arms. I know it will be worth it, I really do....I'm just so sick of waiting.
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is lazy. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience." Unknown