Friday, January 22, 2010

Where we are for now....

I just felt like it was a day for an update, so here it goes. I talked to the Catholic Social Services supervisor yesterday and got really excited again! She said that she agreed with me that it is time for classes. They have usually done them 3-4 times a year in the past, but haven't had one since last April! She understood my impatience. She said she will talk to her staff and maybe they can set a date....finally!!! I also was frustrated because they won't let us do a homestudy with another agency...well, they said we could do it but they would have to do an update if we did, for $1,000! The other issue is they won't let anyone start a homestudy with them until we've done their classes, which they won't start already! Ugggghhh!! BUT, she did send me some preliminary paperwork to get started on, including the outline for the autobiographies we have to write. Yep, we get to write our life story to make sure we are capable of being parents. She also told me that if we are open to babies who are preemies, have history of mental illness in their family history, or are substance exposed, we may be better off as far as getting a match quickly. We are open to some portions of each of these categories, so who knows? Dare I hope that we have a baby in a year? Ahhh, it's so hard to hope. So much has been lost already. I'm so excited, though, to get moving on SOMEthing at least. I'll keep bugging her and maybe she'll continue to send me documents so that we can move forward:). If I am one thing, I am persistent. And it might just be the thing I need to help us get moving.

In other news, the doctors were unable to get enough fetal tissue to test our precious angel, so we may never know what happened to her. Our otherwise perfect baby just stopped growing. Her heart just stopped beating. And we have yet another disappointment this week, which is that we may not have answers. We will do our own genetic testing, but I was really hoping to learn more about our baby. Some days just aren't easy.

So, for now we wait, and wait and wait....and hope for better things ahead of us....

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