Thursday, May 13, 2010

Two Months

Ever feel like the whole world is moving forward except for you? The new guy at work, the neighbors down the street, your bloggy friends, etc.....

We've now been on the waiting list two months. I have no growing belly to show for it, no strangers stopping me to ask me how far along I am, no real indication that this wait is getting any shorter. I know two months is behind me, but that doesn't help when I have absolutely no idea how much is still ahead of me!

To be fair, this second month was easier than the first. Time went by a little quicker, each day didn't seem like it went on for weeks. I'm much too busy for that. I just keep thinking...what if we get to the fall with no baby? (Which, by the way, is perfectly possible and would still be within normal time frames.) My stomach drops.

I cannot keep living life as is, as if I don't want it to be so much more. Same job, same hamster wheel full of piles of work, same empty home, day after day after day. How many more months can I take this?

I guess we'll find out.

On a side note, I wanted to post about the candle holders people seemed to like. It is actually all one candle and looks like this when all together:

Two of the sides say "In Loving Memory"
One of the sides says, "What a beautiful difference one single life has made."
The last side says, "After the rain comes a Rainbow, after the darkness comes Light...after the clouds disappear is only the beautiful and the bright. What a Beautiful difference one single life has made."

I checked the bottom. It is copyrighted by Giftcraft 2008. The brand on it says Simply You. I do adore this candle and hope those of you interested can find it. Since I have two angels, I particularly love that this candle has two separate candle holders. I hope you can find it if you want it!

Thank you everyone for your beautiful comments on Mother's Day. My dear sister actually lit two candles and remembered my angels on that special day with me. My heart swells with love for her, for my angels, and for all of you.

Here's to another month behind us and who knows how many ahead of us!


  1. I know exactly how you feel on the part about seeming like everyone else's life is moving along. I've felt like that for quite some time. It seems like just about everyone else in my life is moving forward, while we're just standing still.

    Two months isn't very long. And hopefully soon, your birthmother will find you!

    Thanks for all of the great comments lately! I've been in a rough spot too, and it's so great to have friends who have been there and done that! :D I appreciate you, and all you do!

  2. Good luck, Faith. Even though we aren't adopting, I know how you feel. How many more months will it take before I finally get a positive pregnancy test. Maybe never! It's the not knowing that's the worst. If someone told me that 5 years from now I'd finally have a baby, even though that's so far away, it would still put me at ease. I hope it's very soon for both of us!

    Today on the bulletin board at work were two different ultrasound pics. One was a woman we all know is pregnant. The other said, "it's time to play Guess Who's Pregnant?!? This is number 2. Be careful it's in the water." I wanted to run to the drinking fountain! lol.

  3. Hey love, I can't wait for our shopping date! I know that it seems like forever but 2 months isn't that long! :) You will be a mommy soon...I'm praying before the end of the year! :)

    Thank you for offering to help my friend Krystal and her son, I already loved you to pieces but now I love you like 100X more!!

    The candles are lovely and a great way to honor your Angels!