My Valentine's Day Thoughts

Valentine's Day. Not a day I/we celebrate fully, but a day that is always in my heart. This is because, growing up, my mom always made it special. I would get excited for the day because I knew my mom would always have something special waiting for me. I woke up and found a cute basket put together on the table, with candy and stuffed animals, and all things cutesy:)! And I loved it. What I loved was really not the cutesy things....what I loved was always knowing I was thought of, always knowing someone loved me more than anything in the world and took every opportunity to show me. What a gift I had (and have) in my mom!

Me and My Mommy!!

So, as I sit here on Valentine's Day (cleaning my house, grocery shopping, and looking forward to hubby coming home after work), I think about my dreams of being a mom. I have so many dreams, and different days, different occasions, trigger different dreams. Today, I think of how much my heart yearns to do all those cutesy things that show my child how much s/he is loved and thought of and cherished. I want it so badly I can feel it with every part of my being. Today, I am holding my future baby, and his/her birthparents, in my heart. On this Valentine's Day I am sending love out into the world to all of them, hoping somehow, some way, they can feel it.

What I am also thinking about as I sit here on Valentine's Day is my wonderful husband. I don't talk much about him here (mostly because I'm not sure he wants me to:), but he is a gift. For those of you who don't know, I married my best friend, my high school sweetheart. And I've never looked back. His constant love and acceptance is the foundation in my life. His boundless happiness, energy and love are probably the ONLY things that sustained us through the last 2.5 years - because Lord knows I wasn't able to give much as I suffered with inescapable grief. So, today, I am thankful for Jason, for our marriage, for our life together, and for all the love we have to share with our future (hopefully not TOO distant future) children.

Me and My Hunny (many moons ago)